Okay, my wife will tell you this is not an unusual condition. But, I just heard on the radio that "Sesame Street" is re-working the Cookie Monster ("CM") in response to the "obesity crisis." Cookie Monster, of course, was the blue muppet with the googly eyes who had the all-cookie diet and the sublime theme song "C is for cookie." Apparently, the folks at Children's Television Workshop are going to be having CM assert (and put to music) that "cookies are a sometimes food." AAAAGHH!!!
Several things are deeply wrong with this. First, CM never actually ate the cookies. After all, he is a muppet, made of various types of cloth. When he seized the cookies, he generally made a mess and scattered the things across the set, but never actually ingested the things via his "mouth." (As a child, I noticed this, and had/have enough of my parents in me to think that this was a waste – I will concede that possibly I am not representative). Second, it is completely not in character that CM would, after a lifetime (35+ years) of deriving sustenance from the most elegant and efficient of confections, that he would suddenly and arbitrarily have an epiphany and utterly reject his favorite. Third, what's next? I think it can be asserted without fear of contradiction that unhygienic living conditions have killed more people than obesity. Oscar the Grouch lives in a garbage can. Are they going to have him move to a gated community in the suburbs and actually bathe regularly? Or maybe they should quarantine Big Bird because after all, he may be susceptible to bird flu?!